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"BATMAN" DIES PLUNGING OFF
EMPIRE STATE BUILDING


New York - A man who claimed to be the true authentic Batman jumped off the world's tallest building and plunged to his death.

Duke" The Man" Flincher, 68, had written to ABC and CBS over 600 times in the course of the last two years, stating that he was the one and only real Batman, and that he would soon disclose evidence to support his claim.

The major networks scoffed at his statements and never returned his mail. Flincher was bitter, but continued to fight crime whenever he could. In January, he was on the roof of his house when he spotted an older lady being teased by some young bullies. He dove off the roof and landed on one of the boys, eventually turning him over to police. Jason Crighton, 16, described the incident - " I was just teasing the old bag when all of the sudden, some freako jumped off the roof and nearly broke my neck...He musta been nuts, cause he was wearing some kind of batman suit...".

Neighbours say that Flincher often waked around in his Batman suit, but refused to respond to his real name, claiming that he was Batman, not Flincher. He played the role well, declining to acknowledge that Flincher and Batman were one and the same. He was intent on maintaining his secret identity.

Last week, Flincher took the elevator to the top of the Empire State Building and even though police urged him to come down, Flincher said "See you at the bottom..." and then dove off, flapping wildly once he realized that he couldn't actually fly. Witnesses on the 62nd floor said they saw Flincher trying to toss his batarang towards the building, in the hope that he could stop the fall. He dropped like a stone through the roof of a Buick and into its back seat.

Police officer Dexter Swan told reporters that they had known for a while that Flincher might pull a stunt like that. " I knew the old man, cause he used to jump off roofs and although we told him we didn't need his help, he continued to battle crime in his own way."

Flincher was buried in his Batman costume and the funeral was a private one held for family members only.

Above: The famed costume - Duke Flincher claimed to be the real Batman.
He was killed instantly after jumping off the world's tallest building.



"The nut used to spend his nights in a hole in his backyard - he called it the batcave. I called it the Hole of stupidity..."

Liza Flincher
Wife
                                                    
                                            

"He kept wanting to buy bats...lots of bats..he said he needed them for his batcave...What a weirdo."

Jim Hartsmith
Pet Store Owner

 

" Flincher kept calling me Robin...I was sick of it. I musta told him a million times that my name was not Robin... "

Ben Flincher
Brother

            
                   
"I had to ask him to move...he was always on the roof and jumping off...he was disturbing the other tenants."
                                               
Lou Martin
Landlord

 

Note from the CRCMH webmaster:

Firstly - Get your facts straight - The Empire State building hasn't been the world's tallest building for a very long time. However, it is the tallest in New York, ...once again.

Secondly - I have no idea if this story is true or not, or indeed when it was supposed to have occured (and please don't email us with your thoughts on this one unless you can provide further information on it - We are more than aware that many things about it don't compute and I'm quite sure we've already spotted them all). Still, it certainly purports to be true and is reproduced here verbatim, but is included solely for a bit of fun (wonder why?). It came from the Mudpile site. Nevertheless, I know which Flincher tale sounds more convincing to me...

Finally - the CRCMH Flincher in no way wishes to associate itself with Duke "The Man" Flincher. Or at least we presume it wouldn't. But I'm not going to go and ask it. Would you care to?

 


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