VIRTUAL TOUR Part Seven: Canteen & Kitchen

So we find ourselves once again in the centre of the hospital, having had a bit of a wander around the Southern areas. More intrigue awaits at the top end of the complex, so that's where we're heading next. Let's move inside, heading North. We now find ourselves inside the canteen. A number of sources have assured us that this was the staff canten, and also that there was a shop around here somwhere. It's basically barren save for a few bits of the polystyrene CRCMH model and a fallen radiator. But at least it has a sunny disposition, facing South onto the courtyard.

If you've either seen the film "The Last Days Of Patton" or checked out the feature on it within this website, you might recognize this room as the location for the press conference. You can make your way from here through to the foyer via the doors on the Eastern wall (or indeed by using the courtyard). But we're going to continue through to next door heading North.

Right. Now we're about to enter the doorway on our right. Beyond, lies one of the more interesting "recent" additions to the hospital - The Pwürg Memorial Room. Intrigued? Then follow me...

Directly in front of you is a gigantic face, nestled alongside its contemporary text - "Ha Ha Ha." This is perhaps the oldest piece of wall art in the entire complex (certainly since its closure). The artist is unknown, so if you're reading this we'd love you to let us know of course. The rest of the material on this wall has a different origin. Ever the community-minded "Save Our Hospital" campaign stalwarts, Pwürg decided to instigate a petition to, well..."Save Our Hospital." Seeing as this wall had already been defaced (and it's not as if the room has any other point to it - it doesn't exactly lead anywhere), they decided that adding a bit more text here wouldn't do any harm. And in doing so, they started an institution. It is requested that anybody who believes in the cause should add their signature in the optimistic hope that one day the developers will see these heartfelt messages and abort the destruction of our beloved haven. Among those signatures visible here are those of Damon Torsten, Owen Pellow, Ray Hurley-Castle, Genitt Rentson, Harold, Cedric Moldavia, and Morag of the Glens. There is also a gratuitous advertisement advising you to purchase the "Gas Music" album by Monkfish for no apparent reason. Over the years, many new names have been added by explorers from all walks of life. So, what are you waiting for? Speak your mind now - and vote with your best permanant marker.

Immediately to the right of the petition, you'll notice what appears to be an obscure collection of 2D "headstones". Yes, you have stumbled upon the Pwürg Cemetery. Lucas Bones and Isaac Mangang realized that they'd spent an awful lot of time inside the place and had grown rather attached to it. As a result, they decided that they would quite like to be buried here upon the event of their respective deaths. Therefore, they set about erecting unfinshed tombstones for themselves. Nearly a decade later, their reserved plots are still empty - so they must be doing well. Also present are gravestones belonging to Ray Hurley-Castle (who died during the filming of Mist Raiders after falling from a watertower in Holyport), Caribbean drum guru Ziggy Reaper, and builder Michael Shanly (who isn't actually dead yet - everyone just wishes he was).

So, having voiced your opinion on the fate of the CRCMH, and paid your final respects to the not quite dead yet, it's time to wander back into the canteen again.

There's old "Launchpad" indulging in his hobby of semi-professional seating arranger. Note the piles of polystyrene CRCMH model parts scattered throughout the room - and also the serving hatch in the wall. Funnily enough, on the other side of this you'll discover the kitchen. Now, there are a number of ways to get there, and in doing so this time, we find our way into a very small dark room. It's full of long wooden slats and we call it The Meat Locker. It probably wasn't actually one, but whatever its purpose, it must be sinister in being this near the kitchen. Pushing our way through to the other side, we emerge in the kitchen itself.

The hospital kitchen looks precisely like a hospital kitchen should - large and industrial-like - althought there's perhaps a bit too much blood splattered on the walls. Alright, so it's not real blood (I hope) but at least it adds to the macabre atmosphere inside this already spine-chilling room. Having said that, there's not really all that much else of interest in here, so let's move along.

Heading North-West from here, off the top of the Grand Corridor, we'll come to one of the more unusual facilities that the CRCMH has to offer. Well, what are you waiting for? Follow me...